Hey friends! I was on Facebook the other day and I noticed some struggle in one of the groups that I’m in. I’ve been in the group for awhile and I see pretty frequently people feeling badly about their perceived lack of progress in regard to all the wins.It really breaks my heart when I see that people are in total overwhelm and they just wanna give up on their financial journey!! =( Click To Tweet
What this really is about is comparing yourself to others. It’s a really slippery slope and it’s so easy to get caught up, unfortunately. If that’s something you struggle with, you have to be cautious about what kinds of things you consume when you’re not feeling so great. It’s tempting to go clicking around hoping to find someone to relate to, and that’s not bad, you’re just looking for confirmation that you’re not alone. But if you can’t find what you’re looking for, and all you see is success as you scroll down the page it can make you feel like you don’t fit in and that you actually are alone even though you’re not! And honestly, that feeling absolutely sucks.
I have been guilty of slipping and falling into this trap myself on occasion. I actually just did it yesterday! But here are some things I do to help pull myself out of the comparison trap. Maybe some of them will work for you:
1) Go on a content consumption freeze, and do it with the quickness! If I find myself in a not so great mood, I might be unconsciously looking for a reason or excuse to make things worse and self-sabotage. Sometimes, when you’re in your head it can seem like everyone around is winning but you. If you’re the kind of person who falls into this trap, consuming lots of that isn’t so helpful for you especially when you’re struggling. So take some time away from social media until you’re feeling like you’re back in the game. And don’t worry, the posts you need to see will be there when you return.=)
2) Turn off notifications! If going cold turkey isn’t within your realm of self control at the moment, turning off your notifications and uninstalling apps on your phone can help. I generally have my social media notifications turned off but when I’m in the comparison trap, I take extra care to make sure I won’t be tempted. You can always turn them back on later 😉
3) Do you have a Feel Good journal? I have one and it has done wonders! Whenever I’m in a good mood, I write myself a love note or congratulate myself for something I’m proud of. It was kinda weird at first, but then when I hit one of those days…those days where I’m being a dramatic millennial and I’m surely convinced that my life is going to fall apart from some mistake I made, I can read through my journal. And it’s amazing what it does for your mind when you give yourself a pep talk in your own words and it was authentic when you wrote it.
4) Reach out for support and connection!! Call your favorites, hang out with family, go for a walk with the dog, whoever you know you can feel connected to, find them! They can help get you out of your head and back in the game. And if you don’t have someone like that in person there’s plenty of ways to connect with people virtually and you’re welcome to connect with me! <3 It’s important to recognize these feelings as a need for connection. Not just to others but also to yourself. So take the time to give yourself what you need!
For those of you who are struggling to reach your goals, you take 2 steps forward and one step back, you’re scraping by, trying to start your life over after a rough divorce, etc The task you have chosen to complete is a challenge! So it’s very normal to struggle along the way. There will be days when the change you’re trying to make will seem insurmountable. There will be days where you doubt your ability to reach your goals. Those feelings are unavoidable. But you can get back on the horse and climb out the comparison trap, I know it!
Let me know, what do you do when you realize that you’ve been comparing yourself to others and it’s bringing you down? If this was helpful for you, share this with a friend and join my email list below so you can join the other Feel Good Friends!