Whenever I make a mistake, money related or otherwise, I always come back to these 4 key principles to recenter myself and clear my mind to decide what the next move will be.
- Kindness: I feel like it it’s my duty as a human being to make an effort to be kind to others and leave them better than I found them. Especially the people who are challenging for me because they send out negative, angry or hurtful energy. In my experience, it’s often those people who need kindness the most. Of course it can be hard to put aside my own reactive feelings and take a step back to extend kindness. But, kindness is magical because it’s one of those things that you’ll never really run out of and it can’t cause harm. Here’s one of my favorite videos of Lady Gaga talking about kindness, I love what she has to say!
- Integrity: I keep my word and I highly value this trait in others. It’s not about being perfect and never making mistakes, cuz let’s be real no one is perfect. It’s about telling the truth when things go awry and doing my best to fix it. The other thing about integrity is that it’s not always the easy choice but it always works out for the best.
- Sincerity: I strive to be sincere in everything that I say and do. I truly feel that a person can tell truth, communicate and express themselves in a heartfelt place. Some may call it wearing your heart on your sleeve, but I call it just being me.
- Listening: It’s very important to me when people choose to share with me that I do my very best to really make them feel like I’m listening to them and they feel heard. Not in the way that I’m listening for what I should say in response, but I’m listening for the tone in their voice and how they might be feeling. I know how it feels to take a chance on someone and share my story only to realize that I’ve made a terrible mistake because that person didn’t care about what I needed to say. They were listening for what they wanted to hear instead of what I needed from them. Sometimes, a person just needs to vent and get things off their chest. They’re not always looking for advice or tough love. Have you ever been there before?
All of this really boils down to connection. I’m one of those people that wholeheartedly believe that people need to feel connected to others to thrive and live healthy lives. There’s different ways that this can manifest in our lives: the fulfillment we get from being part of a group, the way feel when we spend time with loved ones, or how we interact with our communities. I feel like connection is so critically important for us all to experience and know.
But Amber, what does this have to do with money?
Great question! Let’s talk about it.
We need kindness toward ourselves especially when we make mistakes with our money that causes friction in other parts of our lives. If you struggle to forgive yourself for missteps, how can you be expected to put yourself in the space of growth you need to recover from your mistake? Practicing kindness towards others is a good start for working towards being kinder to yourself.
We need integrity and sincerity to be honest with ourselves about how our mistakes occurred, and where we need to go to improve. As they say, the first step is admitting that there’s a problem. And there’s nothing wrong with having money troubles, it happens to the best of us. The really serious issue comes when we tell ourselves lies about how there are no issues, when everything is falling apart. Also we need to be able to tap into our heart spaces and be honest about what we need to move forward. Maybe it’s simple, like needing rest or food. But maybe it means that we have to step outside ourselves and get help to move forward. For some, that’s a very difficult task.
And lastly, listening is so important because we need people to really hear us. Especially when we’re struggling. Whether it’s shame, embarrassment, or sheer confusion, having someone who can really hear you and support you through that rough time. It’s nice to have someone who isn’t going to judge you and can listen to you from a compassionate space. As stressful and traumatizing as money challenges can be, they can be overcome. Having someone listen to you reinforces that you are not alone in your quest.
Let me know in the comments which one of these is most important for you, I’d love to hear your responses.